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Home > Humour > The most funny pick up lines?

By @MrDelanes (1652)

Check out the funniest and cheesiest pick up lines on the internet. Vote up your favourite, add some more of your own, and update your friends on twitter. Some of these are hilarious!

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1) Can i have a picture of you?

By biggles (287)

Id like to show Santa what id like for Christmas.

santa funny pick up lines
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2) Excuse me do you have a phone I can borrow?

By @mrdelanes (1652)

I told my mum I would call her when I met the woman of my dreams.

woman phone funny pick up line
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3) I'll buy you dinner if you make me breakfast.

By biggles (287)

breakfast funny pick up lines
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4) Screw me if im wrong...

By biggles (287)

but i think you want to sleep with me.

screw funny pick up lines
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5) If i were to flip a coin-

By biggles (287)

what are the chances of me getting head?

coin funny pick up lines
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6) Do you know how much a polar bear weights?

By biggles (287)

No, nor do i, but it broke the ice.

ice funny pick up lines
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7) Darling if I had you, I wouldn’t have to dream anymore.

By biggles (287)

dream funny pick up lines
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8) If you've been bad goto your room-

By biggles (287)

If you want to be naughty come to mine!

bedroom funny pick up lines
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9) That's a nice dress.

By biggles (287)

Any chance i could talk you out of it?

dress funny pick up lines
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10) Dont you think it was fate that brought us together?

By biggles (287)

No, just bad luck!

bad luck funny pick up lines
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11) I know how to please a woman.

By biggles (287)

Then please leave me alone.

woman funny pick up lines
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12) Your place or mine?

By biggles (287)

Both i can go to my place and you can goto yours.

house funny pick up lines
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13) I can't wait till tomorrow-

By biggles (287)

Because i bet you become even more beautiful with every passing day.

tomorrow funny pick up lines
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14) Hi, im and organ donor...

By biggles (287)

I have an organ i think you might need!

organ funny pick up lines
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15) I know i'm not al library book...

By biggles (287)

So why do you keep checking me out?

book funny pick up lines
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16) Just call me Vitamin C- i'll do your body good.

By biggles (287)

vitamin c funny pick up lines
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17) Theres only one thing your eyes haven’t told me...

By biggles (287)

Your name!

eyes funny pick up lines
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18) You know love is a little like photography-

By biggles (287)

Best developed in the dark.

camera funny pick up lines
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19) What would you say is the best thing...

By biggles (287)

About being so gorgeous?

gorgeous funny pick up lines
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20) So darling, do you know why they call me tripod?

By biggles (287)

tripod funny pick up lines
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21) I had a dream about you last night...

By biggles (287)

Lets got back to my place and make it a relaity.

dream funny pick up lines
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22) I have always been fascinated by beautiful women-

By biggles (287)

Do you mind if I study you closely?

study funny pick up lines
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23) Are you going to give me your phone number?

By biggles (287)

Or am i going to have to follow you home?

phone funny pick up lines
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24) Fancy a shag?

By biggles (287)

No thanks i've already got an arsehole in my knickers!

knickers funny pick up lines
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25) I've been noticing you not noticing me!

By biggles (287)

notice funny pick up lines
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26) You want to see some magic?

By biggles (287)

Lets go back to your place tonight and in the mroning i'll disapear forever.

magic funny pick up lines
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27) Do you want to come back to my place for sex and coffee?

By biggles (287)

NO you dont want the coffee?

coffee funny pick up lines
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28) I know we’ve only just met....

By @mrdelanes (1652)

But I have just come back from the future where were having a passionate love affair and it started tonight.

marty mcfly funny pick up line
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29) Dont tell anyone else- im naked under these clothes!

By biggles (287)

naked funny pick up lines
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30) You look like your pretty experienced.

By biggles (287)

You want to teach me a thing or two?

teach funny pick up lines
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31) Hi- what would you like for breakfast tomorrow morning?

By biggles (287)

breakfast funny pick up lines
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32) Is there a Doctor in the house?

By biggles (287)

Because i think i twitsted my ankle when i fell for you!

doctor funny pick up lines
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33) So do you need a hot-male account?

By biggles (287)

hot male funny pick up lines
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34) You've got the face of an angel.

By biggles (287)

Yeah? Well you've got the face of a saint, A Saint Bernard!

angel funny pick up lines
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35) Your eyes are blue, just like the ocean...

By biggles (287)

And baby, im drowning!

ocean funny pick up lines
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36) You look like someone with taste-

By biggles (287)

Would you like to taste me?

taste funny pick up lines
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37) Put your crash helmet on love-

By biggles (287)

You'l be going through the headboard later!

helmet funny pick up lines
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38) How do you feel about going halves on a bastard?

By biggles (287)

bastard funny pick up lines
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39) You may well be the best looking girl here-

By biggles (287)

But beauty is only a light switch flick away.

switch funny pick up lines
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40) Your legs remind me of flu, i hope they spread as easily

By biggles (287)

legs funny pick up lines
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41) Are you hurt? Because it is a long fall from heaven.

By biggles (287)

fall funny pick up lines
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42) Did you get your knickers from outer space?

By biggles (287)

Because your bum is simply out of this world.

space funny pick up lines
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43) I see my reflection in your eye and you can keep my soul

By biggles (287)

reflection funny pick up lines
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44) I'm curious to know if your as good in bed-

By biggles (287)

As the other guys say you are?

bed funny pick up lines
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45) I've just been dumped...

By biggles (287)

and i'm sure you can make me feel better!

dumped funny pick up lines
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46) You're so sweet-

By biggles (287)

I'm worried that just by kissing you my teeth will fall out.

teeth funny pick up lines
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47) Have you always been this gorgeous-

By biggles (287)

Or is it something you work at?

gorgeous funny pick up lines
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48) Are you religious? Because im the answer to your prayers

By biggles (287)

prayer funny pick up lines
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49) Baby if you were a laser gun- you'd be set on stun!

By biggles (287)

stun funny pick up lines
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50) You must be going to Hell,

By biggles (287)

Because its surely a sin to look so good!

hell funny pick up lines
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51) Does your father mix cement?

By biggles (287)

Because your making me hard!

cement funny pick up lines
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52) Was your mother a baker?

By biggles (287)

Because you have a lovely set of buns.

baker funny pick up lines
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53) Was your father a farmer?

By biggles (287)

Because you have a lovely pair of melons.

farmer funny pick up lines
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54) Excuse me do you have the time?

By biggles (287)

Because i have the energy!

time funny pick up lines
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55) I can read palms-

By biggles (287)

and yours says you have just met the partner of your dreams!

palm funny pick up lines
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56) Did anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?

By biggles (287)

Im sorry i thought you already knew!

sleep funny pick up lines
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57) Quick, someone call heaven- there is an angel missing.

By biggles (287)

angel funny pick up lines
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58) You look like my ex, only uglier!

By biggles (287)

ugly funny pick up lines
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59) I can tell you want me?

By biggles (287)

Yes i want you to leave!

leave funny pick up lines
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60) Can i come back to your place?

By biggles (287)

Yes if i can go back to yours.

house funny pick up lines
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61) When i look at you i know i've caught the love bug.

By biggles (287)

That doesnt look like the only disease you've got.

love bug funny pick up lines
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62) You look like a dream.

By biggles (287)

Go back to sleep!

dream funny pick up lines
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63) What sign are you?

By biggles (287)

No entry!

star sign funny pick up lines
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64) How did you get to be so beautiful?

By biggles (287)

God clearly gave me your share of the attractiveness genes.

genes funny pick up lines
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65) You seem familiar have we met in a previous life?

By biggles (287)

Yes and i didnt want anything to do with you then either.

familiar funny pick up lines
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66) Have you heard that things get stiff when they're dead?

By biggles (287)

Well put your hands down my trousers and you'll see i'm dying!

dieing funny pick up lines
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67) I'm on a sponsored snogathon for charity-

By biggles (287)

Would you like to boost my total?

snog funny pick up lines
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68) The next item up for auction is my trousers.

By biggles (287)

trousers funny pick up lines
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69) What is your parents number?

By biggles (287)

I need to call them and thank them for having you.

phone funny pick up lines
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70) Excuse me but your flies are undone-

By biggles (287)

Well not now but maybe later!

flies funny pick up lines
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71) Quick call an ambulance-

By biggles (287)

The sight of you has stopped my heart!

ambulance funny pick up lines
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72) Do you want a snog?

By biggles (287)

I need to know that you taste as good as you look.

snog funny pick up lines
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73) Quick call the cops, someone just stole my heart!

By biggles (287)

love funny pick up lines
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74) Your legs are like softened butter.

By biggles (287)

Smooth, creamy and easy to spread.

legs funny pick up lines
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75) Dont you think we just click?

By biggles (287)

click funny pick up lines
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76) I just had to find out...

By biggles (287)

What kind of person would go out dressed like that!

dressed funny pick up lines
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77) Did your face get all bashed up...

By biggles (287)

When you fell from Heaven?

fall funny pick up lines
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78) Wow, you look like a million dollars-

By biggles (287)

All green and wrinkled.

million dollars funny pick up lines
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79) I'd like to shag you senseless...

By biggles (287)

But it looks like someone got there first!

senseless funny pick up lines
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80) It's great you have big feet- i like stability.

By biggles (287)

big feet funny pick up lines
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81) Here's my phone-

By biggles (287)

Call your flatmate and tell them you wont be home tonight.

phone funny pick up lines
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82) Congratulations your the next contestant...

By biggles (287)

In the game of love, and im your host!

love funny pick up lines
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83) That dress looks great on you-

By biggles (287)

infant so would I.

dress funny pick up lines
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84) Lets play poll, we can use my cue and balls...

By biggles (287)

and your holes.

pool funny pick up lines
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85) I would go to the end of the world for you.

By biggles (287)

Yeah, but owuld you stay there?

world funny pick up lines
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86) Those are nice jeans. Do you think i could get into them

By biggles (287)

jeans funny pick up lines
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87) May i have the last dance?

By biggles (287)

You've just had it.

dance funny pick up lines
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88) So, would you like to come back to my place?

By biggles (287)

Well i dont know, will two people fit under a rock?

house funny pick up lines
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89) Are you free some time next week? Or do you charge?

By biggles (287)

money funny pick up lines
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90) Er... im very rich!

By biggles (287)

rich funny pick up lines
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91) Were you in Girl Guides?

By biggles (287)

Because you've tied my heart in knots.

brownies funny pick up lines
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92) Have you got a calculator?

By biggles (287)

I need to work out how much i fancy you.

calculator funny pick up lines
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93) You know, the more i drink the more attractive you get.

By biggles (287)

drink funny pick up lines
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94) I bet you a hundred pounds that you wont kiss me!

By biggles (287)

kiss funny pick up lines
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95) Dont worry i go more for personality than looks.

By biggles (287)

personality funny pick up lines
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96) Somebody call the police!

By biggles (287)

It must be against the law to look as good as you.

police funny pick up lines
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97) You must be from Jamaica because Jamaican me crazy.

By biggles (287)

jamaica funny pick up lines
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98) The best part of me is covered up.

By biggles (287)

covered up funny pick up lines
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99) I want to know all about you.

By biggles (287)

Starting with why do you have that stupid look on your face?

stupid look funny pick up lines
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100) If i pet you, would you follow me home?

By biggles (287)

pet funny pick up lines
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101) Do you have a doggie bag?

By biggles (287)

I want to take you home with me.

doggie bag funny pick up lines
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102) Who chose your outfit? Stevie wonder?

By biggles (287)

stevie wonder funny pick up lines
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103) Whats a nice girl like you doing in a body like that?

By biggles (287)

fat girl funny pick up lines
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